Sorry for the lack of updates. My brother is being shipped out early tomorrow morning for the Air Force. I don't know what to feel. It feels like I just broke up with someone I loved, but it hurts more in the bones, deep down. I know I'll still be able to see him, like once every few months and he won't be going to Iraq or anything, but it isn't enough to stop this pain.
TV is such a comfort food. That has been all I could think about doing since he got called up. Watch TV. Shut away and ignore the pain. Without TV I have been finding myself not able to concentrate on anything, I just float through the day thinking how much I will miss him.
I guess this is what it means to be human. Feel pain without anything to make you forget it. To numb it. It is interesting.
I just don't know. I feel lost. Like I am loosing someone I have known my whole life. Like he will just disappear.
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